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Friday, February 13, 2015

The Crew: Online Review

Never drive alone’ proclaims the snazzy font at the end of the intro to The Crew. and sure, seeing as you literally cannot play the game offline, there are people out there who will actually answer your call for a quick co-op mission. the game loads and then there they are, noisily munching Pringles into the microphone and absentmindedly asking siblings in high pitched voices, “Do fish wee?” (based on a true story, that.)

If these people are your actual friends then unfortunately that’s as good as it gets. it’s not our place to tell you to invest in new pals. but otherwise, a group of real-life chums can certainly make their own fun. and there’s definite, tangible awesomeness that comes from acting as a wingman for your mates, slowing down ai cars so someone can sneak through and take the win.


Finding Thelma & Louise moments, or exploring how far you can get into the water at niagara falls without triggering the respawn is entertaining. but there’s a nagging feeling that it may be more about your mates being good company.

You’ll need to be at the same level as them, too. the game will let you form a crew with players at levels six, 23 and 50 (the current maximum), but they won’t all be able to enter the same missions. advanced players will get so sick of having to pick up troy again or do that target takedown across the dunes again that they might drown themselves in fish wee, just to end the torture.

The crew leader is also given too much power. sometimes you might win an event only for your dear leader to inexplicably restart. and then again after botching the first corner. and again. this… isn’t working out. we need to race other people.

Later in the story’s arc, dedicated PvP lobbies appear in major cities, but if you’re serious about ranked matches, you need to be actively maxing out your best cars’ stats to stand a chance. some twisty tracks can level the playing field, but the oval tracks are incredibly dull. Doubly so if collisions have been turned off by the host. at least The Crew maintains its freedom, even in closed PvP, so if you do get bored you can just turn right, drive out of the stadium and faff about in a field. sometimes it’s better to drive alone.

5/10

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